Last month I told my husband I thought I was depressed. Our oldest, Sammie, was headed to college.
One thing I have learned over the years is to voice out loud what I am feeling, my body lets me know if I’ve nailed it or not.
This sadness has taken me by surprise. I’m watching myself go through it and feeling emotional, a little nutty, anxious, and worried. It’s nuts. I found myself unexpectedly emotional and tearing up often through her senior year. My mind went to all the lasts… last first day of school picture, last year of high school softball, last birthday at home, last homecoming, last this, last that.
So when I heard myself say, “I think I’m depressed” a huge wave of relief washed over me, my body perked up and that wise voice within me said…
“You aren’t depressed, you are going through a transition.”
Yes! I could feel in that moment my truth—I wasn’t depressed. I was just feeling my feelings from a big transition in my life. My oldest was leaving the nest.
Transitions happen over time. As much as our society of instant gratification wants a quick fix, our emotions aren’t something we can instantly gratify our way through—but we try. Trust me, I know 🙂 They deserve time and attention. They want to be seen and heard just like we do. So here I sit. Noticing, feeling, and honoring this transition. Each moment I feel sad and my eyes well up… I honor, see, and feel it. When I do that, I’m met on the other side feeling ecstatic and over the moon for her, wondering what she’ll choose to do with her life and what life has in store for her. I feel a deep sense of peace filled with wonder. Oh the possibilities and life lessons. The next chapter of her sacred journey is beginning, and so is mine.
Call to Reflect:
What transitions have you gone through in your life?
How did you honor them?
If you haven’t, how can you?
I love honoring the big and little, the happy and sad. I do this through ceremony and ritual.
I’ll be sharing some ceremony and ritual on my blog in the weeks to come.
*side note: I have suffered from depression in the past. Depression is real. Please get help.