I’m so excited, I’m joining the club! At least that’s what everyone’s telling me as I’m about to celebrate my 40th birthday. I feel like a little girl again, looking forward to her birthday, I can’t wait! You see, I have gone through a transformation the last 5 years. I didn’t even realize it at first but I must have been ready. As I reflect, people and events were put in my life and I slowly started to wake up. I see now that I was letting life lead me, ICK, YUCK, ACK (fur ball). The reason I now throw up that fur ball is because I’m aware!
I have tasted freedom and I’ll never let that go. I know “very little is needed to make a happy life; it is within yourself, in the way of your thinking” as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus says.
We are layers deep. I lived like the first layer of skin for many years and no one knew. On the outside I looked happy, on the inside calloused, tough, dry. I was judgmental. I was slowly cracking wondering what happened to that optimistic, fun-loving, laughing, quirky girl. Who I thought I was and the the words in my head conflicted. I remember saying many times, “it shouldn’t be this hard.”
That’s when people started showing up in my life. Asking me questions like ‘what makes you happy?’ ‘what makes you laugh?’ ‘what is your mission in life?’ I was thrown, I had no idea. And so the journey began…